did i tell you i want to start a breathalizer fund?
breathalizer fund? what?
i want to put aside money every month just in case i get caught.
why don't you just stop drinking?
man... you know that's never a permanent solution. at least not for me. remember how many times i stopped drinking? there always comes a time when you feel for a drink and you just let go. i lost a 2 liter johnnie on a bet like that before.
only you would bet someone alcohol that you would stop drinking alcohol. that's ahmm... that's really something.
yeah, whatever. you didn't come up with any brilliant alternatives yuhself. i wasn't supposed to slip on that bet anyway. i mean, i quit smoking just like that and never looked back. i thought cutting out drinks would be much easier. i guess i had it figured all wrong. a beastly cold beer is simply not an easy thing to ignore.
what's even harder to ignore is a good friend offering said cold beer... after some doubles.
you recall the transgression in question i see. but what now though? i am almost sure that if i blow into that breathalizer on any given day, i will score over the limit. I HAVE BLOOD IN MY ALCOHOL STREAM!
well first off, you can start by taking the drama down a couple notches. jeez! then i think you need to get a breathalizer. is that even how you spell it?
hold on, let me google it...
HAHA!! it's b-r-e-a-t-h-a-l-Y-z-e-r. and you call yourself a copywriter?
i don't call myself anything. that would make me crazy. anyway, i think you need to get a breathalyzer and some alcohol. take a weekend and run some extensive tests to see what your real limit is. because you can't trust the gauges people are throwing around. i heard 2 beers... a glass of wine... nuttn about tequila shots... nuttn bout scotch... i don't know man. besides, everybody's body processes alco differently. it's about metabolism, body mass and a whole set of other things that i know nothing about. i say, drink and take a reading after every drink to see how much alcohol takes you over the limit. then see how long it takes to get back under the limit. then you'll know how to move.
yuh know, that makes some sense to me. maybe you're smarter than you look.
no. i'm just smarter than you. forget how i look. but seriously, that information is essential. before, the designated driver was just the person who stopped drinking before everybody else so he or she can get sober for the road. now the designated driver will have to be the person who can either stay or get back under the legal limit most efficiently. it will have to be scientific now. i think it's really a hassle though. a lot of people would be wasting money at the ridiculously priced carnival all inclusives right around the corner. imagine going to an all inclusive and all you can drink is 2 beers... because you have to drive. that is some rubbish. luckily i don't have to worry about that.
well, if promoters really want to help, they can consider offering some sort of designated driver discount. like one designated driver to every four people, and the driver gets in for half price. that could work.
yuh know... you might be on to something there. quick, patent the idea.
how about nah? so the mission is to get a breathalyzer. an accurate one.
that's what i'm thinking. let's see if this can be broken down to a science. we'll get it, test it out, get results, then we'll...
keep it here... and don't say nuttn.
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